Friday, November 5, 2010

Patchwork Person

I was recently reminded of an off the cuff insult aimed at me by HM's ex. She had called me a "Scene Girl" because I like a lot of different things at the same time. I was amused and confused more than I was offended but it made me think.

So, I used the vast powers of the internet and looked it up. According to the Urban Dictionary, "a 'scene kid' is a person who conforms to the current trends promoted by the punk/goth/emo/hardcore music genres in order to appear cool". A "Scene Girl", huh? Because I have a wide spectrum of interests? Because I like Goth and Steampunk and Ska and Metal and a LOT of other things? Alright...

Yes, I call myself a Goth. Deep in my heart I love the dark and creepy and spooky. But that doesn't mean it is all that I am. I have made my home a mix between Halloween every day and Alice in Wonderland. There are skulls and a dragon (holding a red devil duckie) and a Lament Configuration (with Captain America standing on it)on my mantle. There is a Japanese sword standing next to my television. On the wall, there is a poster sized print of a mausoleum I shot above the T-Rex I built for my boys. Eclectic at the very least.

I never considered that my varied interests would or could be found offensive to someone who considered themselves part of a certain subculture. I consider myself a Goth Girl and have since my early teenage years. I can't find it in me to be offended by the "normal" person who decides they want to dress up and come to an event. On the same turn, I can't afford to dress in full on Goth gear every day of the year because there are still many stigmas against the culture and I do have a family to support. Does that make me any less Goth? No. I like to think it makes me a reasonable and well balanced adult.

It seems to me that calling someone a "scene kid" because they have a wide array of interests is akin to belittling a college athlete's devotion to their team because they also have a high GPA. Raised in an era bent on demolishing the abhorrent practice of racism and sexism and bigotry in general, any kind of hate fueled judgmental behavior is truly sad.

There are a lot of things that make up who I am as a person. My experiences, my likes, my dislikes, my observations, etc. etc. The same is true for everyone. It is unfair to lump any person into a static box with a label on it and say "THIS is what you have to be from now on." As a parent, I try to raise my children to not look at skin color or clothes, to not allow anyone to limit their dreams, and to encourage them to be themselves while also being respectful to one another and others. I HOPE that my boys will fall into this person's category of "scene kid". Especially if it means that they have pursued every avenue of interest and led completely fulfilling lives. I hope they will not allow the limited views of others to limit their lives through fear or intimidation.

I HOPE they can be a Patchwork Person. Full of color and life and stories. Lessons and adventures and knowledge. Hope for the future makes any false starts along the way worth the trip.


  1. Hey doll... Don't you wish there was a "Fuck You" button on the computer, whereupon pressing, an electrical shock was magically and karmically delivered to the deserving party? I say you can put me in a box if you want to, but how I decorate that box is totally up to me LOL

  2. I hadn't thought of it from that perspective! Being able to decorate the box would certainly make it a lot more tolerable!! LOL

  3. of the moment i have on a pink and grey jogging suit with a pink shirt and my pink nerdy glasses propped on my head( must go do home work...bleh)...and i refuse to conform to what someone else thinks is goth cause, IMO, goth is something you are, a part of you . And sometimes you get to actually play dress-up to match....heheh
    and thats what luna has to say about that!